Victoria CA

If you have ever moved to a country or even a new city where you did not know anyone and maybe not even the native language - I feel your pain. Two years ago I moved to Brussels to work for a year. Although most people speak French in Brussels, I was working for a Dutch-speaking Flemish firm and I was pretty much lost. In the beginning I was okay with English since almost everyone in Belgium spoke English, and on top of that knowing German helped me a TINY bit to understand Dutch, but all in all, I felt like I was dropped into a new world where my social life started again from 0. What I could have done was Skype [lame] with my friends and family everyday back home and tell them how much I miss them and miss home and be miserable everyday. What I did, however, was enjoy the beautiful country that I was in and just to start an entirely new social life (not always typical for an American). All I knew was that I had to get myself out there, although I did not exactly know how. I tried everything in the books.
Sometimes I would go to bars or get a drink to-go and basically walk around until someone started talking to me or until I found someone interesting to approach and ask some stupid question that I did not even need the answer to (sounds ridiculous but it works). Another thing was that I just checked out the Brussels group on couchsurfing to see what events were going on in the city and who was looking to hang out. It was an excellent idea really - because locals and travelers alike post fun ideas and events in the CS groups all of the time and it is completely acceptable for someone else who sees the post to tag alone - and that is what I did. I attended some of the weekly couchsurfing meetings and also tagged along with some other travelers who met up with a local to be shown around the city (I wound up dating that local for six months - but that is another story).
A similar approach that a friend of mine though up when she moved to London was that she signed herself up for an online dating site where she would find locals in the area who were looking to meet up and show her around - and not necessarily date. As an attractive woman she had a lot of success with finding people to show her the cool parts of the city, and she even found herself some eligible bachelors. With the site that she chose (I believe it was Datebeach.co.uk or some UK specific site) she checked out the chat rooms for singles who were just chilling and not looking for serious relationships (http://www.datebeach.co.uk/single-online) - although I believe she did wind up dating someone she met online.
No matter which way you do it, make sure you are getting out and not just sitting missing home!

So if you are like myself, you are currently dealing with (or have previously dealt with) and overly dramatic helpless best friend who refuses to grant herself enough self-esteem to get over the dumbest asshole who has broken her heart. I was going to write another piece of advice, but quite frankly, at least in this case, I have not yet found the remedy. We go out all the time and dance (although we don`t meet anyone or talk to anyone new because she claims she does not "like people"). Basically, she has liked the guy since she was about sixteen years old, and they dated on and off for about seven years - even though in the middle of these years he cheated on her, got another girl pregnant, had the baby, married that girl, and then divorced her. I try my best to understand her and put myself in her position even though I could never imagine myself putting myself in such a ridiculous position prone to abuse from one of the stupidest men who exist.

The main problem is that she doesn`t want to help herself. She`s becoming afraid to come to me to talk about it because the advice that I give her is not anything that she wants to hear, and she is beginning to get angry when I tell her she needs to start respecting herself a little more (or a LOT more). She says that I don`t understand because I`m single and happy, and our other best friend doesn`t understand  because she is in a healthy relationship and never had to feel like this. Meanwhile, I myself, was in an emotionally abusive relationship for three years which left me devastated and hopeless in the end. The only way I got over this was through traveling around Europe. Once I saw - not only how many single, attractive and respectful guys there were out there - but just how big the world is compared to my little problem. Trying to get her to see things through these eyes!

Have you been having trouble meeting people that you actually find interesting / who are worth a second date (or even a first)? Join the club. Talk to me after you have gone on like twenty consecutive bad [FIRST] dates. And naturally, for a while I thought it was my fault that the dates were so bad (I am of course not suggesting that EVERYONE who always goes on bad dates is not at fault at all) but I was definitely sure something was wrong with the dating world today. Why does everyone suck? People do and say the stupidest things to impress other people - OR they do not even bother to try to make any positive impression on us. Is this all that we as grown adults have to deal with and settle with?

I am an adamant opponent of the notion of "settling". That means, I would much rather be ALONE forever than settle with someone who is way below my league and/or does not treat me with the respect that a partner deserves - but too often to people settle with idiots. This is because they are unaware of what is really out there in the world. So how do you find these people "out there"? I do not mean to suggest that in some other parts of the world there are more "qualified" bachelors (or bachelorettes) roaming all over the streets in every which direction you look. (I WILL however suggest that traveling in Europe has broadened my perspective of so many things including on dating culture and demanding respect from others). But anyway, one thing may just be that you need to change which places you are looking in. You do not actually have to go around "looking", but if you are spending all of your time at the run-down pub around the corner (and still have not found anyone worthy) you MIGHT want to check out some other interesting places, like a organic cafe or something, to change the atmosphere and maybe see a change in the audience.

If you are really not having any luck then there is also the option of dating online. It was not something that I thought I would be a fan of - until I realized the convenience of it and the control that it gives me as a woman seeking men. With sites like Datebeach and several others, you do not necessarily have to look around contacting everyone that you find. You could easily just check into a Victoria dating chatroom (or a chat for whichever city) and just browse quickly who is in your area (http://www.datebeach.ca/flirt/victoria). Whichever esteem-maintaining method that you use to meet people, make sure for god's sake that you are not settling for less.